If you are just now joining the reading of our blogs, you need to be aware that we are currently in a series of blogs dealing with trans issues. It is important to read these blogs in the order in which they were first presented in order to understand the scope of our research into this topic without establishing bias based on an issue for which the proper research foundation has not yet been laid. So, please go back and review all of our blogs on this issue beginning with the one we published on April 3, 2022. In our continued search for The Truth about all things surrounding the trans issue today, much of that which is ignored by choice or by avoiding study to learn more about it, we continue our blog about the whirlwind of talk leading to the TRANSPHOBIA mind set. Before we get into another deep dive into potential causes and effects of trans related issues, we thought it relevant to explore the vast range of behaviors found within the trans culture. We believe most of you are aware of this broad spectrum of actions but have never really correlated your observations into a conscious reality. Although these ranges in behavior happen to men and women alike, we are concentrating on those who are male.
Halloween. What a fun time of year to be anything you want to be, and it can be done without condemnation, or observer questions delving into motives or aspirations. How many men do you know, or those who you have witnessed, who dressed up as women on Halloween? For some men, to be able to dawn the slick silks, flowing wigs, high heel shoes, and to observe how one can be nearly instantaneously transformed into another sex, is both insightful and rewarding. But once the party is done and Halloween is past, the clothes and all the accoutrements are given back to your local thrift store, and all that really remains are the fading memories and maybe a picture or two of the events. Those men are quite happy to return to the world of manhood and would never in a thousand years consider delving more deeply into the art of crossdressing. On the very broad scale of trans behavior, these men would be on the far left of the spectrum. Consider this in relation to a “Bell Curve”, see the diagram below:
On the far left of the Bell Curve, the numbers who participate in this type of transformation are few. On the far right of the Bell Curve, are those who have taken the massive transformation to become as fully woman as possible through a process known as SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery). The acronym GAS (Gender Affirmation Surgery) had been adopted, although many now do not like to say they went through “GAS”, so the newest and most accepted term is GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery). Those who have gone through this process have dealt with Gender Dysphoria for years, hating who they were as men, detesting what was between their legs. Many have undergone plastic surgery to make visible features more feminine, like breast augmentation, facelifts, and even in some cases vocal cord surgery and the diminishing of the Adam’s Apple. Often, once this transformation is complete, these transwomen disappear into society, and for the most part, have completely divested themselves of their previous lives. Some are able to blend into society unnoticed, and a few are even able to make this transformation and retain their original jobs, livelihoods, and most friends. You probably drive or walk by these people every day without even noticing, and the last thing they want is to be singled out and identified as trans. These are the two extremes on our trans spectrum or Bell Curve. Between these two extremes are the vast majority of trans individuals.
On the left of the spectrum, those not satisfied enough with putting away their Halloween woman, will secretly dress up whenever they have the opportunity. They are the closeted crossdresser. One who dares not disclose their fetish for fear of rejection, or even the total destruction of the entire fabric of their lives up until the point of revelation, including family, financial, and social discrimination and banishment. They live in fear of exposure, often going through periods of what is called, “The Purge”, where they will feal as though they are bad, evil people, and for a time will discard any and everything pulling them into their perceived vial habit. Over time, a few months or even years, they recognize that the pull to disassociate from their fetish is unsustainable, and they revert once again to their closeted ways. These “Purges” can happen multiple times in these individuals’ lives. The stories these men tell are often identical, usually beginning at a very early age, experimenting with a sister’s or mother’s wardrobe in secret. They secretly wish they had never been born a boy. Some of these men make a break and risk all to more fully develop their inward persona by going out in public, or joining associations of like-minded individuals, sometimes, but rarely, are their families or wives onboard with this newfound public expression, and usually family life is shattered. Sometimes these individuals, being unable to bear the burden of these separations and rejections, commit suicide.
In the middle of this spectrum of trans folks we have been exploring, are the vast numbers of men who accepted who they are, have found a measure of solace and resignation to their situations. Some are content to spend a few hours a month, or days out of the year, being more feminine. But once their itch has been scratched, they are perfectly able and satisfied to go back into their macho world. These men we consider to be crossdressers, the center left on our Bell Curve. Some men are not satisfied with this periodic flip-flopping. They move into a more daily experience, living life as woman. They may take hormone treatments, have laser hair removal, and acquire their own personal feminine wardrobes and accoutrements. They expand their network of fellow transwomen and often share outings and a variety of venues. These men are not crossdressers, they are transwomen. These are on the center-right of our Bell Curve and are those who are transgendered.
For some, there remains a frustration and dissatisfaction with the physical body given them at birth. There is a strong desire to be more female than male, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. However, multiple roadblocks often prevent further steps down the bell-curve slope to GCS. Usually, the main impediment is financial. One can spend $20,000 to $50,000 or more in making the final transformation. Some would even fly to overseas destinations to have the procedure done, where it was cheaper to do, including airfare and lodging. For most, the failure of insurance companies or businesses to fully fund these transformation surgeries prevents many transwomen from being who they believe themselves to be behaviorally. For some, money may not be the issue, but maybe age or health, as the GCS is extensive, sometimes requiring skin grafts and extensive daily follow-on care. To say it more bluntly, it is not like getting an oil change, out with the old and in with the new. This process requires checking the dipstick each and every day. It’s not a get it and forget it type of procedure. It requires commitment and dedication.
For the remainder of this blog, we would like to consider how others, maybe a wife, might glean some insight into those who share the vast numbers within our Bell Curve, whether they be crossdressers or transgendered. The information is taken from the book “Crossdressers: And Those Who Share Their Lives” (Peggy J. Rudd, Ed.D.), written by the wife of a crossdresser, published in 1995. As we did when reviewing the previous book on the subject, it is important to note that this book lists 8 Resources, and the Bibliography lists 21 sources. It is obviously well researched and written from personal experience. Following is a compilation of excerpts from this short book dealing with crossdressing:
“The choice to accept or reject my husband was affected by perceptions, previous thought patterns, and my own present level of knowledge, but I made a deliberate choice to move beyond these factors and into the realm of compassion and empathy. Soon I came to realize that my husband had not chosen crossdressing either, and he also felt pain. Part of what I had to overcome related to semantics. At that time my husband referred to himself as a transvestite which, unfortunately, was the word of choice for most journalists who sensationalized the stories about persons who rob banks and commit sex crimes while crossdressed. The press made little mention of the thousands of persons who crossdress for emotional satisfaction. Negative journalism set the stage for my own initial misunderstanding. Soon I came to see another side; I came to believe that crossdressers are a group of people who deserve respect and understanding.” “Simply stated, the clothes worn by crossdressers are an outward manifestation of an inward feeling.” “It seems evident that a great amount of misunderstanding has resulted because some people look no further than observing the outer activity and fail to look into the hearts and emotions of the crossdressers. People who love crossdressers frequently ask, ‘Why is he doing this to me?’ The answer to this question can be found within the motivation, the nature of the individual, and the personal needs. Perhaps the more accurate questions could be asked by the crossdresser. ‘Why am I as I am? Why am I so different?” “Some [crossdressers] feel guilty because society has placed crossdressers into stereotypes, including the incorrect assumption that all crossdressers are gay. Most crossdressers want to share their life with a woman, and the number of gay males is far less among crossdressers than among the general population. There is a tendency to hide because the behavior of crossdressers may deviate from social norms in the area of gender expression.” “Is there really cause for fear and paranoia? Many crossdressers seem to think so. Some have experienced rejection by others or they fear such rejection. There is also the fear of detrimental effects upon other family members. There are documented accounts of crossdressers who have lost their jobs when the ‘secret’ got out. Thus, the fears are well grounded, and have prompted other questions such as, ‘How will my neighbors react if they find out? What will my children think when they discover this part of me? Will I be criticized, ridiculed, or suffer some other form of verbal abuse? Will people think I am mentally ill? What if they think I am a homosexual? Will my family suffer a loss of social standing? Will I be arrested for using the ladies rest room?'” “Fear is not the only emotion keeping crossdressers hidden. Many have feelings of guilt. Initially, crossdressers do not understand the feminine feelings within themselves and tend to mask these feelings with behaviors characterized by macho.” “. . . the dominant judge and jury is frequently found from others rather than from within the individual.” “Crossdressers are some of the most misunderstood minorities. For years people have had trouble accepting gender variants. Most critics believe crossdressing is an action of preference rather than an inborn trait. In reality crossdressing is an innate quality of life as basic as being born left-handed or right-handed. Society may accept a let-handed man but has difficulty accepting a man who crossdresses.” “Compassion is freely given to people who have birth defects, and this is as it should be, but where is the compassion for people who cross gender lines? Society has been less than tolerant. Crossdressers face criticism rather than hugs. Observers should ask . . . ‘What would I do if I had been born this way’?” “For religions which view the universe from a monistic view point, cross gender behavior is but an affirmation of the essential continuity of all life and a natural expression of the spectrum of life. Religions such as animist, pantheist, and Hindu/Buddhist all embrace a monistic view of life. But religions which have a strongly transcendent view of the separation of the divine and creation such as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam offer no formal place for cross gender behavior in their rituals.” (Rev. Kathryn Helms.) “On the ANGELA SHOW, a regional television talk show filmed in New Orleans, Michelle was asked if she ever felt like an actor when dressed like a woman, Her reply was very insightful. ‘Yes, we are all consummate actors, especially when dressed as men’.” “. . . many people perceive gender to be a set of social expectations. Perhaps even as small children we had preferences that were not in line with gender expectations, but most of us have moved through life doing what we are ‘supposed’ to do. Kaplan said this in a rather humorous way. ‘I like chocolate ice cream; but when I go fishing, I use worms because fish like worms.’ we bend our form to agree with the preferences of others. Then we file those imposed preferences in our minds until they become perceived to be a factual dictate.” “Traditionally, men are supposed to act, think and move like men, and any hint of the feminine is feared and soon becomes a catalyst for guilt and remorse.”
We hope this little review of just one group, crossdressers, along the wide trans spectrum, will help give a more thorough understanding of all those who wrestle with being misunderstood, vilified, and ostracized by many. Remember, FREEDOM and LIBERTY are not given by government, but by God, and his command was to love. It is possible to love a person and not like everything about them, and there is no litmus test in order to give or receive love.